Dave Barry

Dave Barry – As a child, I was…


“As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The four building blocks of…


“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The problem with winter sports…


“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – I would not know how…


“I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Your modern teenager is not…


“Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – I believe that we parents…


“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Never assume that the guy…


“Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – It is a scientific fact…


“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – What I look forward to…


“What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Auto racing is boring except…


“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
-Dave Barry

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