Dave Barry

Dave Barry – Dogs feel very strongly that…


“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – As a child, I was…


“As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The four building blocks of…


“The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The problem with winter sports…


“The problem with winter sports is that – follow me closely here – they generally take place in winter.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – I would not know how…


“I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Your modern teenager is not…


“Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – I believe that we parents…


“I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Never assume that the guy…


“Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – It is a scientific fact…


“It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – What I look forward to…


“What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.”
-Dave Barry

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