Dave Barry

Dave Barry – Auto racing is boring except…


“Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The one thing that unites…


“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The information encoded in your…


“The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Big business never pays a…


“Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Eating rice cakes is like…


“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The only kind of seafood…


“The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn’t have eyeballs or fins.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – To an adolescent, there is…


“To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – The leading cause of death…


“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – We’ll try to cooperate fully…


“We’ll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”
-Dave Barry

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Dave Barry – Skiing combines outdoor fun with…


“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”
-Dave Barry

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