Jay Leno

Jay Leno – You aren’t famous until my…


“You aren’t famous until my mother has heard of you.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or…


“Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – Bush reiterated his stand to…


“Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – The Pentagon still has not…


“The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow ‘Operation Re-elect Bush’ doesn’t seem to be popular.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – The reason there are two…


“The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – CNN found that Hillary Clinton…


“CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she’s strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – You’re not famous until my…


“You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – Al Jazeera aired a new…


“Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night’s Democratic debate.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – The Supreme Court has ruled…


“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”
-Jay Leno

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Jay Leno – Major league baseball has asked…


“Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that’s why they never hit any home runs. It’s a safety issue.”
-Jay Leno

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