Sloane Crosley

Sloane Crosley – A pet store is a…


“A pet store is a celebration of dogs’ existence and an explosion of options. About cats, a pet store seems to say, ‘Here, we couldn’t think of anything else.’ Cats are the Hanukkah of the animal world in this way. They are feted quietly and happily by a minority, but there’s only so much hoopla applicable to them.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – My mother is a special…


“My mother is a special education teacher but also an artist, and my father an advertising executive. They are about as wacky as you can get without being alcoholics.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – Since graduation, I have measured…


“Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor’s appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – You can’t possibly fathom the…


“You can’t possibly fathom the ins and outs of a prepubescent beauty treatment until you’ve felt the strange but exhilarating tingle of a cottage-cheese-and-Pop-Rocks facial.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – I have a disproportionate amount…


“I have a disproportionate amount of faith in the goodness of the world and that everything will actually work out okay.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – There’s already a marriage clock…


“There’s already a marriage clock, a career clock, a biological clock. Sometimes being a woman feels like standing in the lobby of a hotel, looking at the dials depicting every time zone in the world behind the front desk – except they all apply to you, and all at once.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – The truth is, I wrote…


“The truth is, I wrote a novel when I was 23. It’s hideously bad. Truly rotten.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – In New York, if you…


“In New York, if you weigh under 200 pounds and decline so much as a cookie at a co-worker’s party, women will flock to your side, assuring you of your appealing physique. This is how skittish we are about the dangers of anorexia and the pressures of body image.”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – Brits and Americans have hundreds…


“Brits and Americans have hundreds of different phrases for the same thing. Luckily, it’s usually a source of amusement rather than frustration. A flashlight by any other name is still a torch. My personal favourite is ‘fairy lights,’ which we boringly refer to as ‘Christmas lights.'”
-Sloane Crosley

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Sloane Crosley – My personality, when tasked with…


“My personality, when tasked with creating meals, goes something like this: Is there a way we can make this more difficult? Because let’s do that. I don’t mean to complicate things. It’s just – why buy pre-packaged potato salad when you can spend your morning boiling potatoes and flipping out because there’s no dill in the house?”
-Sloane Crosley

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